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Children make Men Misers and Cowards

MIT
4/16/2017
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In the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent. Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the seal of God's messengers, our Prophet Muhammad and his family, companions and followers. 

It is reported by Imam Ahmad, Ibn Majah, At-tabaraani and others that Allah's messenger(peace be upon him him) said: Children make Men misers and cowards. In another narration from Ya'la Al -Amir where he said: "Hasan and Hussain came running to the prophet(peace be upon him) and he embraced them and said: 'Children make a man a miser and a coward.'" Sunan Ibn Maajah Hadith No. 3666. They make him a miser because he stops spending money in an attempt to save it all for them. They make him a coward because he gives up going to Jihaad out of fear that who will look after them if he gets killed.

This Hadith teaches that we should realize that our parents have served us so much that we can never fully compensate them. From infancy to adulthood, it is unparalleled tender love and care of the parents which brings the child from the stage of absolute weakness and helplessness to perfect strength and independence. the fact is that the parent's heart is the fountainhead of the love for the child; this affection becomes the life-blood of the parents.

It would only be possible to fully repay our fathers if we found them as  slaves and set them free, which is practically impossible. Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: No child can compensate his father unless he finds him as a slave, buys him, and sets him free. Sahih Muslim 2787.

Such is the great honor a father deserves, yet the mother deserves even more due to the great sacrifices and pain she endured during childbirth. Allah said:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for to Me is the final destination. Surat Luqman. 31:14

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا  حَتَّىٰ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِين

" We have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning is thirty months. He grows until, when he reaches maturity and reaches the age of forty years, he says: My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Verily, I have repented to You, and verily, I am of the Muslims who surrender to You." Surat Al-Ahqaf 46:15. For this reason, the Prophet declared that our mother is the most deserving of our good company, even before our father.

According to a reliable tradition, it is related that a man came to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and asked him to whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to be kind to his mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to be kind to his father, indicating that the mother's right took precedence over that of the father.". The mother’s rights over us are so great that the Prophet once told a man not to join the military expedition so he could return to his parents and serve them, specifically his mother, for Paradise is under her feet.

It should be clear to us now how important it is to obey our parents and treat them well. Conversely, disobedience to parents is among the worst major sins in Islam.

We ask Allah to bless our parents, to forgive them, to have mercy upon them, and to assist us in fulfilling our duties toward them.






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