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Is Reproaching a Means of Separation or Relation?

When the son of Umm Maktoum came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to guide and teach him about his religion's affairs, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned away from him due to his tendency for the Quraysh's leaders to accept Islam. Allah revealed to him:

{عَبَسَ وَتَوَلَّى * أَنْ جَاءَهُ الْأَعْمَى * وَمَا يُدْرِيكَ لَعَلَّهُ يَزَّكَّى * أَوْ يَذَّكَّرُ فَتَنْفَعَهُ الذِّكْرَى}.

{The Prophet frowned and turned away * Because there came to him the blind man * But what would make you perceive, [O Muhammad], that perhaps he might be purified * Or be reminded and the remembrance would benefit him?}. (Abasa:1-4).

From the day these verses were revealed to the prophet(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) this blind man had a special status in the company of the Prophet, to the extent that whenever the prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saw him, he would say: " Welcome to the one by whom my Lord reproached me".

Reproaching has a strong impact in accounting of the soul to detect its mistakes, so that it returns from its mistakes. One of the meanings of reproaching is to remind the reproached of the favor he had forgotten, or blame and rebuke him for an act he did which Allah dislikes, and it can only occurs except from the friend to his beloved.

Reproaching has benefits if it is for the legislative interest. Allah has reproached his prophet in more than one verse. Allah says: 

{يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَكَ تَبْتَغِي مَرْضَاتَ أَزْوَاجِكَ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ}.

{O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful}. (At-tahrim:1).

Unfortunately, some people takes the act of reproach as a character to himself and as a step to what he wants, and uses it to draw the hearts of people to achieve its goals. Also, some people has taken the act of reproach as a basic means of communication in his life with others, by which people develop fearful and frightening in their dealings with him. Knowing that the reproacher may be right or wrong in his reproaching.

Do not injure:

If you are afflicted with this disease, you should know that you will not be loved by those who know you, so do not harm other people's feelings reminding of favor and injury, and be careful whenever someone reproaches you to remember your favors on him, and do not blame in front of people, for this is one of the biggest means of breaking relation between you and him which may continue forever. Be an elegant someone in your reproach, without injuring the feelings, and let it be in privacy with a politeness behaviors in the speech and with a few words.

Finally, I say to all the clerks: be careful of yourself, reproaching of people will not lead you to anything except distance away from people. Do not involve to much in it. It is less useful and more harmful! And fear to lose your beloved ones and friends with your frequent reproaching, and the you become cried for long by losing them!

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